Over the weekend, I became an ebay fanatic. I was looking for Birkenstock sandals and started where any other middle aged person would go, Home Shopping Network. My husband idly walked by and was slightly exasperated at the prices these ugly (or as he would put it, fugly) sandals were going for. He suggested Ebay.
You are likely thinking, Why birkenstocks? Why now? First off, its been a few months since my latest emotional introspection, and for some reason, I feel that these birkenstocks will get me back in touch with who I am. After spending my last few bonuses on corporate clothing, I feel the need to get back in touch with myself, rather than trying to dress myself to somebody elses standards. Now, just to warm you, in the past, this never worked. I suspect these birkies will band-aid the problem, then become a wardrobe staple for the beach.
Happily I logged onto Ebay and found myself gazing at lots of birkies! Yay, I thought and after a few tedious pages trying to find my size, my husband coached me to narrow it down. I did.
Interestingly, USED birkies popped up. Used. When I say used, I want you to picture some heinous sandals with brown/black marks where your toes are, almost like a pedal crime scene on the shoe bed. Now seriously, why would someone buy used sandals, especially with someone elses toe prints indented on them? But, there were bids.
After several hours of searching, essentially avoiding the prep I needed to do for a talk on Sat night, I found a nice new pair in Germany. Yes, Germany.
I was the winning bidder, and Im sure they are shipping right off to the US on route to my feet.
I found lots of other fun stuff on Ebay and learned that there is always a buyer, and there is truth to the saying that one man's trash is another man's treasure.
Personally, I will stick to the non-toe indented sandals!
Monday, March 24, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Shirts that don't fit right, aka-Boob Triangles
I just want to mention this because I put a shirt on yesterday that had decorative triangles on the upper part of the chest.
Why are boob triangles not adjusted for the size of the shirt? It appears that I buy a larger size shirt so that it looks normal on top, but it never does. My boob triangles are always higher than where my chest ends.
Does anyone else have this problem?
Why are boob triangles not adjusted for the size of the shirt? It appears that I buy a larger size shirt so that it looks normal on top, but it never does. My boob triangles are always higher than where my chest ends.
Does anyone else have this problem?
THM-Totally Hip Mom
I have never quite thought of my mom as "hip" Hip being appropriate because she did raise me in the 70's, I suppose. Straight laced, tell it like it is, one of the first working/professional moms in the neighborhood, hardcore republican. I was at church the other day and met up with a friend who was also a friend of my mothers. She is a single mom, and a lesbian, which will eventually define my mother's hipness. Though I had known, I never quite thought my mom acknowledged this. We chatted, her partner was not with her at church, nor had I seen her partner in a while. She asked about my mom, gave me some excellent insight into activities in our town, and we went into church.
Later, I called my mom.
"Hey, I ran into your old friend from work!" I said. My mom, in Florida now, was at the pool and the wind was whipping at the phone.
"Really! Did she ask about me?" She said.
"Yes, she did. I did tell her she you were coming home for Easter."
"Did you see her 'friend'" she asked. Hmmm. Okay, I will engage, though talking about a lesbian couple with your mom isnt exactly something that happens often.
"No, funny you say that, I havent seen her in a bit" I answered.
We went on to discuss the conversations she had with this person many years ago, before same sex marraige was legal, when this woman was making a decision to have a baby.
"Well, hopefully its not over. She did serious things like buy a house with her and have a baby." She said. " As a matter of fact, we had a long conversation about wedding rings because she went out and bought one to wear while she was pregnant so no questions were asked" She said.
"really. Well, now that they have same sex marriages, things are different" I responded, trying to imagine my mom as a confidante.
"I cant tell you how many times she was in tears in my office"
Hmmm.
One of the most interesting things I found out about was that there was another layer to her. Once I thought I had it all figured out, put in a nice box and wrapped with a bow, it opens back up and something new is revealed. It reminds me that you never really know your parents as well as you think you do. Maybe its bias, maybe its just overlooking what you dont think you see.
Later, I called my mom.
"Hey, I ran into your old friend from work!" I said. My mom, in Florida now, was at the pool and the wind was whipping at the phone.
"Really! Did she ask about me?" She said.
"Yes, she did. I did tell her she you were coming home for Easter."
"Did you see her 'friend'" she asked. Hmmm. Okay, I will engage, though talking about a lesbian couple with your mom isnt exactly something that happens often.
"No, funny you say that, I havent seen her in a bit" I answered.
We went on to discuss the conversations she had with this person many years ago, before same sex marraige was legal, when this woman was making a decision to have a baby.
"Well, hopefully its not over. She did serious things like buy a house with her and have a baby." She said. " As a matter of fact, we had a long conversation about wedding rings because she went out and bought one to wear while she was pregnant so no questions were asked" She said.
"really. Well, now that they have same sex marriages, things are different" I responded, trying to imagine my mom as a confidante.
"I cant tell you how many times she was in tears in my office"
Hmmm.
One of the most interesting things I found out about was that there was another layer to her. Once I thought I had it all figured out, put in a nice box and wrapped with a bow, it opens back up and something new is revealed. It reminds me that you never really know your parents as well as you think you do. Maybe its bias, maybe its just overlooking what you dont think you see.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Order restored
An emotional week, one that can be inferred by the lack of blogging. It was a funny and sad week, an odd juxaposition.
A friend was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The week before, we had been talking about the barbaric approach to a breast biopsy at church.
"A man definately thought of this!" She said. "I had to put my breast through a hole then they flattened it and used a needed to biopsy."
Luckily, I had never been privvy to it, but sympathized having had a diagnostic mammogram, with three ultrasounds and 4 mammograms in a span of 3 hours.
An email popped up, subject line, "Yuk", which in my line of business can mean the protein shake tastes like crap, or they cant get all their fluid in. In this case, t was more that the breast biopsy came back positive and surgery was scheduled.
Being a female, one always worries about breast cancer. Its everywhere, and its actually my job to market prevention. It never quite hits so close to home though.
We met again at yet another birthday party held at a local karate studio. (we arent so creative here in my town!)
" I can take your daughter home monday night and give her dinner" I suggested. "You know, so you can come home from the biopsy and get settled."
She accepted, so I picked her daughter up from school along with my son.
"We have a date tonite" the kids told the teacher.
Oh boy.
We got in the car and they chatted away. Naming the two stuffed animals that my son brought.
"Their last name needs to be the same as yours" she said. Needing to restore some sense of organization to my sons random bouts of creativity.
We got home, and they sat down to kids meals and a movie. I figured they needed a nice treat.
Her dad called and said all was well, and I could bring her home at about 7:30p.
"YOur dad called, I am going to bring you home in about 45 minutes'
"Yay!" I heard, not quite understanding.
"So we have time to take a bath together?" They said in unison.
Taken aback, I wasnt quite sure what to say.
"No, you guys cant" I said.
"Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseee!" they pleaded.
Seriously?
"You cant take a bath together because its not appropriate." I said.
"What is appropriate?" they asked.
I realized my mom-ism was about 5 years too soon for the five year olds.
We at least got a laugh out of the situation.
A friend was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The week before, we had been talking about the barbaric approach to a breast biopsy at church.
"A man definately thought of this!" She said. "I had to put my breast through a hole then they flattened it and used a needed to biopsy."
Luckily, I had never been privvy to it, but sympathized having had a diagnostic mammogram, with three ultrasounds and 4 mammograms in a span of 3 hours.
An email popped up, subject line, "Yuk", which in my line of business can mean the protein shake tastes like crap, or they cant get all their fluid in. In this case, t was more that the breast biopsy came back positive and surgery was scheduled.
Being a female, one always worries about breast cancer. Its everywhere, and its actually my job to market prevention. It never quite hits so close to home though.
We met again at yet another birthday party held at a local karate studio. (we arent so creative here in my town!)
" I can take your daughter home monday night and give her dinner" I suggested. "You know, so you can come home from the biopsy and get settled."
She accepted, so I picked her daughter up from school along with my son.
"We have a date tonite" the kids told the teacher.
Oh boy.
We got in the car and they chatted away. Naming the two stuffed animals that my son brought.
"Their last name needs to be the same as yours" she said. Needing to restore some sense of organization to my sons random bouts of creativity.
We got home, and they sat down to kids meals and a movie. I figured they needed a nice treat.
Her dad called and said all was well, and I could bring her home at about 7:30p.
"YOur dad called, I am going to bring you home in about 45 minutes'
"Yay!" I heard, not quite understanding.
"So we have time to take a bath together?" They said in unison.
Taken aback, I wasnt quite sure what to say.
"No, you guys cant" I said.
"Plllleeeeeaaaaassssseee!" they pleaded.
Seriously?
"You cant take a bath together because its not appropriate." I said.
"What is appropriate?" they asked.
I realized my mom-ism was about 5 years too soon for the five year olds.
We at least got a laugh out of the situation.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Funny chain email!
I got this email the other day and couldnt stop laughing. I had to share it with some of my pals.
Thinking of Having Kids?
Do this 11 step program first!
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already
are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might impr ove their child's breastfeeding,
sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all
the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living
room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighi ng approximately 8-12 pounds,
with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
(Eat cold food with one hand for dinner) 2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down,
set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag,
until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and
watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get u p at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard
and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful
and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all
summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How
does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loo se mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang
out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave
it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the
back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both side s of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can
find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you
intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy
your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for
everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do
not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the
swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air. You
are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney,
the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney
channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's
'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important:
no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to
the
level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car
everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip
with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually
tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape
made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an
adult while there is a
child in the room.
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's
all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have
kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it.
Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll
need when you become a parent!
Thinking of Having Kids?
Do this 11 step program first!
Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.
Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already
are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might impr ove their child's breastfeeding,
sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all
the answers.
Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living
room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighi ng approximately 8-12 pounds,
with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
(Eat cold food with one hand for dinner) 2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down,
set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag,
until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and
watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get u p at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard
and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful
and together.
Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all
summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How
does that look?
Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loo se mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang
out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.
Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave
it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the
back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both side s of the car.
Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can
find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you
intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy
your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for
everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do
not even contemplate having children.
Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the
swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air. You
are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.
Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney,
the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney
channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's
'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.
Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important:
no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to
the
level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car
everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip
with a toddler.
Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually
tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape
made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an
adult while there is a
child in the room.
This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's
all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have
kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it.
Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll
need when you become a parent!
Square Shaped Corn
With the dire predictions about the economy, my grocery list has made the sacrifice. Of course, only after a heated discussion with my husband about perceived food waste. Like any other working mom, I despise grocery shopping. I typically would shop every two weeks and come home with a significant amount of food. I havent quite mastered the planning and use of the more perishable foods, thus leading to food waste. I have agreed to shop once per week as part of my new economic plan.
In addition, I recently found a chain that lowered my grocery bill considerably, but found that my shopping availability, aka Saturday morning, is like navigating Grand Central Station at rush hour. Is it worth the 50-60 dollars less? I think so.
I have begun shopping on Friday afternoon, which is a bit of an improvement, and am relying more on store brands. That being said, I entered the cereal aisle with trepidation, because cereal is one of the most price inflated items in the store. If you have ever navigated the cereal aisle with a 4 year old, you will sometimes pay anything to avoid the temper tantrum in aisle 7.
I spotted a huge box of square shaped corn, perched next to the Chex cereal it was mimicing. It was priced, 2 boxes for 5.00, a bargain! I grabbed a box in addition to two named brand cereals that happened to be on sale.
A week later, the square shaped corn made its appearance at the breakfast table.
"What is this?" my husband asked.
"cereal, the store brand of chex" I answered.
"I love the name, 'Square shaped corn', could they have though of anything more creative?" He had a point, which reminded me that I always wanted to be that person who named things like cereal, tubefeeding, lipstick. I think that OPI has the nail polish covered.
He shoveled a few spoonfuls in his mouth.
"Its actually better than the regular stuff. Its thicker and holds the milk better." he said between bitefuls.
Sometimes, truth is the best reality.
In addition, I recently found a chain that lowered my grocery bill considerably, but found that my shopping availability, aka Saturday morning, is like navigating Grand Central Station at rush hour. Is it worth the 50-60 dollars less? I think so.
I have begun shopping on Friday afternoon, which is a bit of an improvement, and am relying more on store brands. That being said, I entered the cereal aisle with trepidation, because cereal is one of the most price inflated items in the store. If you have ever navigated the cereal aisle with a 4 year old, you will sometimes pay anything to avoid the temper tantrum in aisle 7.
I spotted a huge box of square shaped corn, perched next to the Chex cereal it was mimicing. It was priced, 2 boxes for 5.00, a bargain! I grabbed a box in addition to two named brand cereals that happened to be on sale.
A week later, the square shaped corn made its appearance at the breakfast table.
"What is this?" my husband asked.
"cereal, the store brand of chex" I answered.
"I love the name, 'Square shaped corn', could they have though of anything more creative?" He had a point, which reminded me that I always wanted to be that person who named things like cereal, tubefeeding, lipstick. I think that OPI has the nail polish covered.
He shoveled a few spoonfuls in his mouth.
"Its actually better than the regular stuff. Its thicker and holds the milk better." he said between bitefuls.
Sometimes, truth is the best reality.
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